a time in my life

it is the 25th of july, a sunday, and here i am driving northward with a skyshow of colors overhead, my ears peppered with the modest chatter of good company, fleeting visions of dark blue bodies of water flirting with my gaze; a moment like this, in like manner as with dreams, are raw material if you were in the trade of expressions. i could have wept from the beauty of it all but i had people around.

humor me for a bit and tell me you feel all of this too. somebody, whobody. feels like i’m simultaneously at both ends of (as if grasped by ecstasy and despair), and right smack in the middle of (akin to a meditative state), the spectrum of - of what? - of human experience. to be at the extremes and in a state of nothingness, i , i occupy this humble point in space and i am spinning. this is a time in my life.

it is a sunday and i am driving a cool 60, southward now, rolling on under a clear evening sky, which should paint no other picture for you than an impossible army of stars. and the moon, fuck yes the moon, i guess it was the day for it to be full. it looms low on the horizon, to my left, frighteningly tangerine in color. of course i could not help but peek out of my window to gaze up from time to time, risking no other life but my own. i just had to be greedy with my senses. how could i not.

oblige me with presence. be audience to my silent frenzy as i mourn the loss of things privy only to me, loss of connection, again and again, short-lived earthly magic, mourn my own failings, devour presence, celebrate follies and fluke.

this is a time in my life.
hence, i erupt.