20 June 2025
I go through one cycle of seasons
I go through one cycle of seasons
i. Winter
I came out of my mother‘s womb the wrong way
You could say, my ass saw the world first
And already i came in gazing at a past that i didn‘t have,
or at least not in this new life.
I like to believe i had left myself behind
and in its place is an ill-fitting dress of a flesh.
A flesh jacket, which for the first quarter of life i kept gripping for what it was missing
and for what it shouldn’t have.
I‘d like you to believe i am not asking for what i shouldn’t have
Rather that i am asking for what i once had.
This was the first quarter of life, a long winter of wanting.
ii. Spring
the first spring to a newcomer is a whirlwind romance
the unbelievable blue,
the unnerving fragrance of raw birth (from the earth)
new hair sprouting in places in cadence with new leaves on the trees.
i stab myself weekly with man juice and every cell in my body rave in applause
from these torrents of spring.
Bodies of water are defrosting and you could see every moss and pebble on the riverbeds.
I could finally see under the glass of my skin, once sun-deprived, robbed by the jacket of flesh
Now tossed into the last fire of winter.
iii.
iv.
Two days prior was the 2nd anniversary of the beginning of my medical transition.