malinao sunrise walks

I was cozy in bed but my dog threw a silent hysteria just to get me up at 5:15 in the morning. Against comfort, convinced by reason, we went on our usual stroll expecting to see something worthwhile at least. This always feels like the day before christmas when you're not used to gifts but because you've been surprised before, it might just happen again. I'm now learning that indeed there is always the sun celebrating its majesty for me to see whenever I oblige to my dogs' excitement in the morning.

I'm living my final year before hitting the big 3 0, and I'm neither stalling nor rushing. It's not that numbers are a big concern to me, but it's amusing to find how wildly different things are now from what I imagined as a kid.

I've been spending a lot of time under the heavens <unadulterated by human chaos> more than I've ever been before in my life and I'm finding myself wanting less and less of what I used to think I want, or that I should have. This comes as an unnerving realization for me, because just about a year ago I was finally decided about what I want to do with my life, yet here I am now, allowing a little bit of it to slip off my fingers. I'm not just about to pour it all, but it does teach me one more thing about existence.

That if we pay enough attention to what nourishes us, there is really not much else that we could need.

There is a caveat to this. The anomaly (if you will) in our human DNA will always find us in the end (if we don't try to fight it) wanting more. If however that leads to creating more, then I don't wish to fight it. That in itself is beautiful. Life has seen me through bliss and chaos, love and loss. Having bounced back from rock bottom a few times in the last decade, I want to keep going. To live through the glory of it all. To see all there is to see, and feel all there is to feel.